Post by skwirl on Feb 6, 2009 21:26:59 GMT -4
Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.
"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, electronics, etc., thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. Yes but Shut up."
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US & Canadian economies by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan, Korea, Vietnam or India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Chile, and Guatemala.
If you buy a car it will go to Japan, Korea and even Germany if you are looking at luxury vehicles.
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan or Columbia
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria and other African countries.
And none of it will help the American or Canadian economies.
We need to keep that money here in Canada & America. You can keep the money here by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball or football game, theater, hockey game, local play, or spend it on local produce, beer (domestic ONLY), at a restaurant (if they buy local produce) or tattoos & piercing, since those are the only businesses still in the USA & Canada that are not owned by so many other countries. Even "made in Canada or USA" only means that 51% is made here, the other 49% can be made anywhere else in the world but I guess 51% is better than 100%.
One further note. By bailing out our financial institutions we are rewarding them for being foolish managers, for ripping off the public and enjoying the good life at our expense. Does this mean "a fool and his money are soon parted" - ah! but who is the fool you ask? You decide. Oh! Yes and how does one SPEND their way OUT OF DEBIT? Isn't that called Hyperinflation?
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.
"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, electronics, etc., thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. Yes but Shut up."
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US & Canadian economies by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan, Korea, Vietnam or India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Chile, and Guatemala.
If you buy a car it will go to Japan, Korea and even Germany if you are looking at luxury vehicles.
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan or Columbia
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria and other African countries.
And none of it will help the American or Canadian economies.
We need to keep that money here in Canada & America. You can keep the money here by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball or football game, theater, hockey game, local play, or spend it on local produce, beer (domestic ONLY), at a restaurant (if they buy local produce) or tattoos & piercing, since those are the only businesses still in the USA & Canada that are not owned by so many other countries. Even "made in Canada or USA" only means that 51% is made here, the other 49% can be made anywhere else in the world but I guess 51% is better than 100%.
One further note. By bailing out our financial institutions we are rewarding them for being foolish managers, for ripping off the public and enjoying the good life at our expense. Does this mean "a fool and his money are soon parted" - ah! but who is the fool you ask? You decide. Oh! Yes and how does one SPEND their way OUT OF DEBIT? Isn't that called Hyperinflation?